Recap

This has been another crazy, busy week. However, I do have some highlights. Monday was rather uneventful- did some cleaning and went to the commissary. Tuesday was good, even though I almost had a nervous break-down at PWOC (I think I may be a wee bit claustrophobic). However, Joel called and I had spent a nice afternoon with some Bible study friends. Wednesday we went to the zoo with some more friends and did lunch. Thursday I had a steering committee meeting for my Friday moms' group but the nice surprise was another friend took great photos of my kids that afternoon. It may be that I am little biased, but they may have been the best photos ever! :) I taught the lesson in Awana that night- not so sure how the kids' received the lesson, but I love working with them. I also was reminded of the precious gift of my salvation as I shared with the middle-schoolers about God's redemptive love. Their favorite part was the huge Costco cupcakes I brought- can't go wrong with food bribery! Today we had our moms' group, everything went well and we had a nice afternoon admiring our photos and relaxing. Now Josie and I are enjoying our 5,000th viewing of "Cinderella" and munching some "copcorn". I managed to keep the house together, too. That has probably been one of my most favorite parts! I am looking forward to tomorrow, too. I am getting together with a big group of high-school buddies for dinner and I think it will be great. Most importantly, I get to be kid-free because my friend is keeping the children! Yippee!

Star Light, Star Bright

Today has been rather interesting, but rather than post the same old whiny song I thought I would take a different tack. This morning in Bible study the speaker was explaining Scriptures about astronomy in light of all the knowledge we have garnered about the universe. What an awesome God we serve. He is so creative, powerful, and awe-inspiring! I cannot believe that our planet, in our galaxy, taking up a little spot amongst so many other galaxies is the focus of His attention. We really are only little tiny specks, less than specks, yet He devotes Himself fully to us. And we bring Him joy! Amazing, it can really boggle your mind if you think about it.

It is crazy to think that He knows the names of billions and billions of stars-new ones being born and old ones dying all the time-but He takes the time to have a personal relationship with little ol' me. What else can I do but try my hardest to fully devote myself to Him? Yet, the same exact Deity that made the stars shine also commanded me to "Let there be light". I was dumbfounded to realize that I do not have to pray that the Lord will let my light shine. When I accepted His perfect gift of salvation, He lit my fire. It already shines. What it is up to me is how brightly I illuminate the world around me. What better way to honor my most Holy, Divine Creator than to try to be as bright as I can be! Thank You Lord, for creating a wonder-filled universe and allowing me a tiny, infinitesimal place it in. Thank You for allowing my life to be about so much more than the space I take up and for wanting a relationship with me. Thank You for igniting my fire; feed it so I can honor You by shining brightly.

Poking the Green-Eyed Monster

I have decided I am giving up jealousy for Lent. Really, I have decided wasting my time wanting to be someone else or even just to have their things is about the dumbest thing ever. I think it is about time we realize that pretty much everyone has something someone else desires. One friend may have lots of money, another may have a perfectly clean house, others may have great talents when it comes to sewing, photography or scrap-booking. I sometimes throw a great big "pity party" and tell myself that no one would want to be me, but it really isn't true. Everyone has something that is desirable to someone else. It is not that we should revel in feeling superior to others, but we should realize that we need to be content with what we have. For starters, there are plenty of people out there who would give their right arm to have such great kids as mine. What a disservice I am doing to myself to be jealous of someone else's talents or things, when I could be directing that energy to improving what I already have?

Another thing is that it keeps me from forming valuable relationships because it gives me a justification for disliking someone. I tell myself that it is acceptable to not spend time with someone I envy because being with them just reminds me of what I don't have. How about if I used that time to try to better myself instead? Although then that leads to the question of, "Do I really want to do _______ like they do?" The answer is usually "no". So instead I should admire their talents and love them for who they are. That will improve me for sure and maybe even be of service to them. I think that will give that old monster a good poke in the eye!

I will try to quit posting about this but it is really something the Holy Spirit is working on in my life. Seeing these posts helps me to remember my resolutions and gives me people to hold me accountable. I have learned that secret sins are the most nefarious (great word, huh?) and they have the most hold on you. Putting myself out there for everyone to see, warts and all, will enable me to grow and be the best Clare for the Lord. He wants me to be me, not anyone else. Now that is something I can be proud of!

This Is the Day the Lord Hath Made...

Today has been a good day. I delivered a talk this morning for my Moments for Moms group (about closet organization). It went pretty well, I think. It is amazing how nervous that kind of thing can make you, even as an adult. But all the ladies were extremely gracious and I had a good time. My eternal thanks to my speech professor my first year of college! I had lunch with a good friend and her children. Jocelyn really enjoys them and it is so nice to be able to be "me" and not have to put on a show. We also had a chance to snag some deals at the Children's Place (Josie got some really cute outfits for less than $8 each). I love a bargain!

Then we came home and I have just spent the afternoon relaxing in my home. I have to give my sister all the credit for introducing me to the FlyLady (visit her at www.flylady.com). I spent 15 minutes cleaning in each room of my house this week (give or take, I am ashamed to admit my room took me almost an hour!) and I am really satisfied with the results! My mom was right, it is a lot easier to have fun in a clean house! I had put a stew in the crock pot the other day (don't get excited, it was pre-prepared by Tyson's but I just love them!) and I am sitting now enjoying my stew and blogging. The weather is all "fall-y", one of my favorite things. Also, Joel sent me an email and hearing from him always make my day better. Jocelyn is quietly painting, a new favorite hobby for her. (Wouldn't it be great to have an artist?) Carson is enjoying that fantastic invention called the Exer-Saucer. Peaceful kids always equal a happy mom. All in all it has just been a really full, satisfying day. The Lord has been so gracious and He knew exactly what I needed. He is so good like that! The perfect ending will be if I get some sleep tonight...

Nothing Special about Some Special Things

I just wanted to say how thankful I am for my children. I realized I complain about them 10x more than I say nice things. Josie definitely gets the short end of the stick when it comes to compliments! I drag them to adult gatherings, force them to nap and won't let them (Josie) live on candy. Yet, they still love me unconditionally and to date have provided my greatest source of personal satisfaction (and frustration!) and the best living example of why we should come to Christ as little children.

Josie is 2-almost 3. She has had some really tough times lately with her dad gone. But there are times when she comforts me almost as much as if Joel were here. I was napping on the sofa the other day and she came up kissed me and said, "I lubb (love) you, mom!". How can you not smile at that? Also, last night she just wanted me to lay with her in her bed (a tight fit on a toddler mattress) but it was just so precious how she essentially demanded that I give her my time, just her. She has also become such a big helper. She is in charge of diaper retrieval and disposable and she does a great job! I also have to say that I am overjoyed that she finally learned her colors. It's funny how something so simple excites me.

Carson is my big, squishy, teddy-bear. He has been such a source of joy for me. I don't do anything really, but he thinks I am the best thing since sliced bread (although he is the one with the shirt that says that he is [the best thing since sliced bread] so you can see how I feel about him!). He truly believes that I will always be there for him, and I will give him what he needs. He is never afraid to ask for what he wants (sometimes more loudly than other times) and he has complete faith that I will deliver. He just learned how to roll over, another thing that made me almost as happy as if he had discovered cold fusion. He is always smiling, just content to be alive and take it all in. He also sleeps through (most) nights-so really what more can I ask for?

I really didn't mean for this to turn into a devotional, but as I have been writing I have been further struck by all the things my kids can teach me about my relationship with my Father. I need to desire to please Him, and be open about my love, like Josie. I need to trust like Carson, knowing He has never failed to provide for me, and learn to live in contentedness no matter the situation. But mostly, they just help me to see how the Lord has provided so many things for me through them. Thank You Lord for the great children you have given me, help me to be a worthy mom!