We had made special plans to go to the "Adventure Gym" (a open-play time on all the fun gymnastic equipment)with friends this morning. Jocelyn gets so excited about this-it is probably her most favorite activity. Well, as we were headed out the door Jocelyn said, "Mom, are we going? Will the truck start?" To which I honestly replied, "I don't know; you will have to pray about it!" Please do not think that I said this tritely, this is a big deal in our house lately. Josie said, "Yep, I did, Mom." Well, we get out there, everyone gets buckled in and... the truck doesn't start. Well, I wrestle with the hood, fiddle with things that Joel told me to (things that I wouldn't be able to name if my life depended on it) and...nothing. I call our friends, tell them we won't be able to make it. We tried to make alternate plans but we live in the back forty of Egypt and there are too many of us. So, I haul Josie and Carson back inside. Poor Josie, she is crying and telling me how sad she is. She wasn't throwing a fit, she is getting more used to the truck being "broke". I am crying, too. It is so hard to have to disappoint your child. It made me feel like such a failure, but it isn't anything I have any control over. I called my mom (she is my go-to when life is frustrating me). She helps to calm me down, and suggests some things to do at home. Well, Jocelyn is fairly easily distracted. I think she somehow understands that there is no use crying over spilt milk. She goes on her way, being as sweet and loving as she can be. The Schwan's man comes (always an exciting event in our house, Josie is amazed that he brings the "groceries" without us having to leave the house) and we fix lunch- see we didn't even have to go out! Jocelyn has started praying by herself, so when lunch was ready she asked the blessing. This is her prayer:
Dear God, Thank you for our food. Thank you for our fun day. Thank you that the truck wouldn't start. Thank you that Daddy is coming home to fix it. Amen and Jesus (that is how she ends all her prayers)
I am crying while I am writing this. Oh, how I want that to be my heart. Thank you God, for EVERYTHING. Thank you for my child who is not distraught over circumstances she can't control. Thank you for using her to teach me true gratitude. Thank you for not explaining everything to me, and thank you that she does not ask me to explain everything to her. Most of all, thank you that Daddy is coming home to fix it.:)
What do you say? Maybe this won't be as meaningful to anybody but me. But that doesn't matter. Josie teaches me all kind of things and her sweet heart in the face of trouble made me realize that I can't be anymore concerned about this than she is. She really only saw good. She cried and when she was done she just moved on. The next time we get in the truck she will have just as much faith that it will start. She won't let her faith be swayed by a "no" answer. She knows God has His own plans. I know part of His plan is for me to learn more about Him from my precious three year-old.