Saturday, May 18, 2013

Heavy

Simple words, but worth remembering...


Sometimes, things just seem too heavy. I have a couple of friends who are facing truly devastating situations- stuff for Lifetime movies. And it weighs me down, I spent a lot of time crying and praying on their behalves. And that isn't to even begin dealing with the stuff going on in my own life-stuff that I really feel like can't be shared because I am just too afraid that if everyone saw *everything* they would either commit me, or un-friend me-both on Facebook and in real life.

And it is scary. Because when you are all grown up people really expect you to be able to keep it together, and to have all the answers. To questions, like, "when is your husband going to get a "real" job"? Questions that I can't answer because, like I told someone the other day, "We don't have a 5 year plan. We don't have a 5 *minute* plan!" Because I have never had the luxury of planning. My life is pretty much like the weather in Colorado, stick around for a few minutes and it will change.

And that is all good and fine sometimes. Most of the time even. The smile on my face isn't fake-trust me, I am far too transparent for that. God is good-ALL THE TIME. But these moments, the things that real life bring, they can cloud my vision so thoroughly, steal my joy so quickly, that I don't always know what hit me.

I like to know what to do. I like to know what to say. But this life lately, it is bent on rendering me speechless. And that is a hard, hard thing to do, because I always have something to say. But there is nothing. There is crying, the out loud, open-mouthed kind, that always seems to find me in the car, because what is more embarrassing than having every stranger at the stoplight seeing you red-faced and broken? Pain is hurtling around and through me and I can't fix it, I can't stop it.

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."  Romans 8:26

Over and over, this has been my prayer: "O, Lord. O, Lord! My friend! My friend!" And that desolate prayer, it has been enough. It has been my prayer for myself, too. Just saying over and over, "O, Lord. O, Lord!" Who knows our pain like Jesus does? 

But that verse, as precious as it is to me, gains even more meaning when you take it in context. It is long, but please, please don't skip it. Don't just read the words, truly understand that they are for YOU! 


"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the One who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.
We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express . And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.
 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.

NO! In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."



Romans 8:18-39 (NIV, although all emphases are mine) 


I don't know, but I don't need to. My present sufferings, they are nothing. My pain-so very real, don't get me wrong, my dear friends and their tragedies, are all completely tear worthy. But I can't get stuck on the heavy. I am called, wooed, into a relationship where the love is so true, so complete that every burden that seems so fixated on shoving me not just into the ground, but completely burying me under it, completely dissipates when compared to the blaze of glory surrounding the face of the One who has captured me so entirely that nothing can ever snatch me from His hand.

Not death, even though the world tells us it is the end.
Not life, even though living it is sometimes it is so hard that a meaningless death seems like a release.
Not angels, those mighty servants of the King.
Not demons, though enticing and fear-inducing.
Not the present, though it seems insurmountable.
Not the future, though it seems a terrifying black void.
Not height, we can't go be too successful or "perfect"
Not depth, we can't be pushed too far through the ground.

Nor anything else:
 kids
spouses
jobs
money
friends
the economy
the President
our nation
health
catastrophes-natural and otherwise

Put whatever it is there. Nor any what? What is it that you feel like is separating you from His love? It isn't! No matter how heavy it seems, in Him it is light. And not surprisingly, while I sit here typing this, crying and reveling in the greatness, the song that inspired this post is playing:


"So I praise and adore You
Lay it all down before You
In every way You’re beautiful
From my heart
I praise and adore
You made the world beautiful
I cannot stand and deny
You created life
And some live without it."
 -Wavorly, "Praise and Adore You"

It isn't heavy, if you give it to Him. It's life, and real life, what we have in Him, is worth living. Really living-for Him, through Him, with Him, in Him. Nothing can separate you from that-not even the heavy.


2 comments:

  1. So much to say. So, so so much..... but what all will come out is that I loved this post. Thanks for sharing. =)

    ~ Jen

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  2. We don't always have the answers people want to hear, but who can argue with, "We simply don't know. We're trusting in God, and waiting for His timing."

    I'm so glad we don't have to carry our burdens alone. We can lay them at the feet of Jesus. Even if it's every day, hour, or minute.

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