|He says, "Mom, I'm awesome!" Yes, Carson, you are!|
I had a VBS meeting this morning. I am usually not out of bed before 8:00 am (ah, the joys of homeschooling!) but I had to leave my house by 8:15 to be there on time. I commented to Joel as I was leaving that it was practically miraculous that I was getting out of the house early-I was sure I was forgetting something. However, I made it out the door by 10 after and was on my way. I should have known that the Lord had plans, since I rarely leave on time!
Anyway, on the way to the church we were enjoying the new VBS CD, singing along-Josie loves to learn the music in advance every year- when Carson broke in with a very strange question. "Mom, can Satan kill God?". He asked it so innocently, and I knew his little brain had been turning the matter over and over. He is very much into super heroes right now, and I know that good vs. evil is something that he has given a lot of thought to, being very partial to the "good guys". So, my mother's instinct told me that this was not a question to be casually dismissed. I answered his question in a fair amount to detail, considering that he is only 5, and that led to a myriad of other inquiries.
Josie, my dear little evangelist, immediately decided that this was an excellent opportunity to expound on the whole story of Satan falling from heaven, which led to even more questions. He wanted to know if you could ask Satan into your heart (a very valid question I think, coming from a person so young) and then he mentioned that God preferred the good guys. We talked about that, yes, God does prefer good, but we aren't capable of being good on our own. Josie clearly laid out the plan of salvation, with a little help from me. And in my heart, I knew that this was a very important moment. I think the Holy Spirit was preparing me. And then he said it. He said, so plainly, "Mom, I want to ask God into my heart, can we pray at the church?"
And my mother heart almost burst. Because it is a little scary when your tiny child, the one who you have prayed for, and cried over, reaches that moment, and it seems so surreal, because really what can a 5 year old know and understand about Jesus? But then you realize that this is what you have taught him from birth, all about Christ's sacrifice and love, and it isn't the slightest bit strange, as a matter of fact, there couldn't be anything more natural.
Because he knew. He knew that even in his short lifetime, that he had done wrong, intentionally, unintentionally, and everything in between. And he so wanted to be good. So he tried and tried but he just couldn't. And he had heard over and over, about Jesus' love, and His death and resurrection, and His power to save. And then finally, today, it all clicked for him. He didn't need to know anything more than that Jesus had died for that very reason, to save him from his sin, and give him the power to be the good guy.
So, I prayed, desperately, in the 5 minutes remaining to the church. And then I took the son the Lord had given me on my lap, and there, in the car, in the church parking lot, my little boy cried and prayed, and asked Jesus into his heart. And I have never felt so amazed by the timing of the Lord in my life.
Because I was headed into the church to talk to a group of VBS workers about how to lead children to Christ, and the Lord gave me the most poignant reminder of all that salvation has nothing at all to do with *my* words, or *my* actions-that it is all about Him. He is always at work around us, and all I have to do is be willing and available. I knew that He had been at work in Carson, and to see it all come to fruition, in such a seemingly bizarre way, I knew it had to be Him.
And I can't be anything but thankful. What a privilege as a mom, to be able to be a small part of that experience! I know there is no greater joy on this side of heaven, than to be an instrument in leading someone to Christ. But your own child! Oh! It was the culmination of everything that any godly mother has ever prayed for. And to see the joy and peace on his face. It was absolutely priceless. And I was so reminded of this verse:
"Neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow."
I am so glad that I am not responsible for choosing the manner, or timing, of salvation. I would have never picked in the car on the way to a meeting. But thankfully, I am not God, and He is much better at those things than I. So now, I am rejoicing in His calling of my sweet Carson, and His wisdom and perfect timing. And to know my dear child will be with me in heaven is truly is the best Mother's Day gift any mom could ever ask!