I have a vendetta against Valentine's Day. It seems that it is another one of those holidays that promises more than it delivers. It makes love seem like it is about chocolate, flowers and skanky lingerie. It preys on vulnerable people, forcing it to be about "feelings" and "things" rather than a true commitment to True Love. I capitalize that because those poor words are so tortured in our everyday lingo that they have practically lost their meaning. I am talking about Love like how God treats me, not fluttery, butterflies-in-my-stomach, feelings. That is illness, not Love... True romantic Love, unlike the boy-meets-girl-so-they-can-have-casual-sex "love" portrayed widely by the media, is a covenant commitment, witnessed and sanctified by Love Himself. It is only found in marriage and can't truly be experienced before then.
I don't have the perfect marriage. There is no way that I can, because I am not perfect. My life lately seems to be filled with people who can't make a go of it-I am crying right now over the crumbling covenants around me. I don't often post things that are too heavy, that is not so much fun. But with Valentine's Day around the corner I can't help but wonder what happens to these people. I doubt anyone wakes up in the morning and decides, "I don't really feel like being married anymore, I think I will start the proceedings for a messy, heart-breaking divorce, disappoint everyone around me and generally change my life forever." No, but I also firmly believe that you can't "fall out" of love any more than you can "fall into" it.
Every day, Joel chooses to love me (not so easy, trust me, you know if you have read my blog at all!) and every day, I choose to love him. Notice, I did not say that I choose to love him back. My love for him cannot be any more dependent on his love for me than vice versa. I have to willingly serve, submit, pray for, comfort, support and love him no matter what he does for me. That is what I am called to do by the Lord, and I hope that I can do that until I die. It isn't easy, but nothing worth having comes easily. Every day, Joel is my "heavenly sandpaper", helping to perfect me to glorify my King.
I did not really appreciate how sacred marriage is until I started reading about covenants. My marriage is a sacrifice of myself before the Lord, He promises to be everything, and I promise to give everything. I am not worthy, of Joel, or the Lord. But as I pray and fight against the dissolution of marriages around me, I know that the Lord has allowed these things to show me that I have to be on alert every day to guard against the forces of evil working against my marriage. The greatest one being my own selfish, human nature. I don't want a perfect marriage, but I want one that will last.I KNOW that I can have a triumphant marriage-a true, forever covenant,-if I remember that it isn't about me, it is about Him. That will make for a pretty happy Hearts Day...