Friday, February 20, 2009
I have goldfish in my brain. No, not really, but sometimes that is how it seems. Anyone who has met me for more than, oh five minutes, will quickly draw the conclusion that I am a perpetual worrier. In the absence of an actual concern I have been known to make stuff up. I am not proud of it, but it seems there is always something niggling at the edges of my mind. Just in case you were wondering, yes, niggle is a word. Actually, a really good one. American Heritage dictionary defines niggle as:
(v.) To be preoccupied with trifles or petty details.
(v.) To find fault constantly and trivially; carp.
So you see, that is where the goldfish come in. Carp are fish, a relative of the goldfish.Goldfish are useless little creatures. They are not productive in the slightest and the have no discernable benefits when kept in a tiny bowl. All you really have to do is clean up after them and feed them. Have you ever seen a goldfish eat? They qualify for Miss Piggle-Wiggle's Slow-Eater Tiny-Bite-Taker Cure! They are very persistent and often you don't even see them eating. That is what worry does to me. Slowly, while I am unaware I find fault with myself,constantly and over things the Lord really has no concern over. I allow the worry to consume precious gray matter over trifles and petty details. I feed it the parts of me that should be committed to faithfulness and trust in the Lord.
And you know what? In return for this precious food my goldfish worries grow into huge carp (think koi at the Botanical Gardens) and all they do is poop! Not a nice word to use in a blog, I know, but what is the fruit of worry besides more worry? Filling up your mind, leaving behind useless piles of trash, ruining the area for anything productive. I am tired of allowing my worries to carp on me. It is my own fault, I allowed them in, put them in the little bowl of my head and fed them tirelessly. Some of them I won, by being in places I shouldn't, doing things I shouldn't. Some swam in, during the endless ebb and flow of the world going around me. Some of them I purposed to purchase at the pet store (the ones that I make up myself!).
Well, I know I won't be able to keep them all out. But I know I don't have to feed them anymore. And I also know Someone with a really big net. I love what Ephesians says and this is my prayer: "I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with that power through His spirit in you inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled with the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him that is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (verses 14-20 NIV).
Wow! He can do immeasurably more than I can imagine (bind all my worries) and fill me with the measure of all His fullness! His love, faithfulness, and the ability to do good works for Him are all mine fore the taking. Sounds a lot more enticing than hungry, useless fish. Goodbye, goldfish!